


I Know

by sunkissedjoon94



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mingyu's going through a lot, Minor Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Yoon Jeonghan, They're just cuties, but Soonyoung loves him a bunch still, okay I can't think of what to tag this, so uh enjoy!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:09:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25838590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunkissedjoon94/pseuds/sunkissedjoon94
Summary: Based I guess loosely on the song "I Know" by RM and Jungkook as requested by an anon.Mingyu struggles a bit with the idea that someone could love him so much and Soonyoung's there to remind him of why he's so loved.
Relationships: Kim Mingyu/Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 30





	I Know

It was scary. Love was. As much as people called it exciting, Mingyu found that it was just as terrifying. Loving someone and giving them a very vulnerable part of yourself with the ability to break that very vulnerable piece was something scary to Mingyu, even if it was exciting. He was sure his hyungs could say the same, but for them they seemed to have it down easier, three of them hiding a relationship from their management team and the public eye successfully, while Mingyu was nervous and worried with the way he felt about him. 

He was worried, that even though the other liked him back, loved him even, that things might change. That his feelings might change. He was scared that their feelings would become known to the public eye, and they would get backlash for it. He was terrified that maybe, just maybe there was a possibility he didn’t feel the same way Mingyu did at all, and instead the younger would be rejected. All these thoughts and fears were the most important thoughts that kept coming to mind, even when he tried shoving them back and hiding them away.

“Gyu,” The soft voice that he loved spoke up gently and he felt a soft, smaller hand, slide into his. “Stop overthinking.”

Mingyu looked at their joined hands before looking at his face. His expression was kind, and worried. His eyes, which Mingyu loved so much, had so much concern in them that Mingyu was sure the older was going to cry if something was wrong. “Sorry Soonie-hyung.”

“Don’t be. What’s on your mind?” Soonyoung asked gently.

“A lot. But I’m okay.” Mingyu promised.

“Later?” Soonyoung asked.

Mingyu nodded, knowing that Soonyoung wouldn’t let it go. He was better off talking to him about it. He squeezed Soonyoung’s hand, wishing he could lean over and kiss the older’s cheek. But with them at a show, that would have to wait until they got back to the dorms. Next, they’d be shuffled into seperate cars and off to an interview. Then around dinner time they’d finally be home in the dorms and he could kiss the older.

“Alright everyone,” manager Jeon came into the room and they let go of each other’s hands, looking over with the rest of their team. “We need to head down to the stage. Are we ready?” 

Seungcheol, Jeonghan and Joshua immediately looked over the younger members, checking and making sure that they had in fact been with a stylist and gotten their make-up and hair done, and that their outfits were as they were supposed to be. When they nodded their approval, Manager Jeon nodded as well. 

“Alright, well let’s go. Let’s go in a line.” Manager Jeon said walking out to the hallway again.

Soonyoung quickly squeezed Mingyu’s fingers before going by Junhui, following the other through the door and saying his number five as he passed their manager, helping him have an accurate headcount. Shortly behind him, he heard Mingyu’s clear ‘nine’ and smiled hearing his voice.

They were shuffled off to the stage, and Mingyu pushed his worry to the back of his mind. That could wait for later.

\--------

A break after recording gave Mingyu and Soonyoung a chance to break away from the group and see each other. Mingyu had carefully told Seungcheol what was going on, knowing that the leader wouldn’t let their secret get out, but would prefer knowing where they were so he could help cover for them easier.

“You got a lot on your mind.” Soonyoung said once they were alone in an unused room. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Mingyu shrugged, leaning back against a counter space.. Suddenly, the idea of telling Soonyoung his concerns for their relationship seemed terrifying and he didn’t know if he could handle telling him. 

Soonyoung nodded slowly and moved to stand in front of Mingyu, wrapping his arms around the younger, but taller boy’s waist, tilting his head to look at him better, “I’m here, if or when, you want to talk about it okay?”

“I know,” Mingyu said softly. He wrapped his arms around Soonyoung and pressed a kiss to the older’s forehead, “how are you doing? How’s your shoulder?”

“I’m fine. It flared up a bit, but our trainer said I should be okay if I ice it tonight.” Soonyoung shrugged, Mingyu noticing his slight hesitation with his right side.

“Just rest. That’s most important for you.” Mingyu said gently.

“After our schedules, I will. Promise.” Soonyoung smiled. He rested his chin on Mingyu’s chest, even if it was a little uncomfortable. He didn’t mind. He had Mingyu.

MIngyu watched him, letting his mind wander again to the thoughts that kept filling his mind in every quiet moment he had. He and Soonyoung had only been dating for three years. It seemed like a long time already, especially with their career, but he was still worried.

“You’re thinking about whatever it is again.” Soonyoung whispered. “Is it something I did?”

“No. No definitely not you.” Mingyu said quickly. “It’s just-just me over thinking.”

Soonyoung frowned and rubbed Mingyu’s back in a soothing motion, hoping to help him feel better. “If you want to talk it through-”

Mingyu nodded, “I know, and I really appreciate it. I don’t think I can yet.”

He knew it hurt Soonyoung that he wouldn’t share by the small look he ended up letting by, but the older said nothing except nod in understanding and rub his back gently. They were both quiet for a little bit, Mingyu thinking and Soonyoung worrying silently for him, and both of them enjoying just a quiet moment alone. They heard Jeonghan’s voice start coming down the hallway talking to Joshua obnoxiously loud, a sign to them that they were coming. It was something the older three members had agreed would be a signal to Mingyu and Soonyoung as well as everyone else to the three of them to keep relationships secret. 

“Kiss?” Soonyoung asked, knowing their time together was short.

Mingyu smiled and leaned down giving the older a kiss, already unable to wait until they were back at the dorms and could be together safely. They pulled away from each other just as the door opened, Jeonghan and Joshua standing on the other side.

“Seriously you two, you came to take a nap here? Isn’t our dressing room good enough for you?” Jeonghan teased, winking at them.

“We could stretch out in here though.” Soonyoung whined.

“Ahh you two. Come on. We’re going for the awards and then we’ll head onto the interview. No more napping.” Joshua hummed.

Mingyu knew exactly what the older meant. No more time for him and Soonyoung together, until they got to the dorm at least.

Soonyoung still squeezed his hand quickly before they both left the room, following Jeonghan and Joshua back to the group. Their members weren’t surprised they had snuck off, while the staff all looked a little stressed.

“Found them!” Jeonghan grinned as they walked into view. “Taking a nap in an unused room.”

“Why do you guys always find the best rooms for naps?” Wonwoo mumbled, adding on to make it more believable for their staff.

Mingyu just smiled, “sorry. Gotta be quicker than us in getting away I guess.”

“Alright, well now that you two are here, let’s go to the stage.” Manager Jeon said, glad they were back.

Seungcheol gave a subtle thumbs up to Mingyu, raising an eyebrow, silently questioning if the younger was okay.

Mingyu nodded and slid into his place behind Minghao and in front of Seokmin. He watched Soonyoung do the same, between Wonwoo and Junhui, easily falling into a conversation with the two of them. He wondered if Soonyoung really was okay with hiding like they were.

\--------

After the interview, they were shuffled to their separate cars for the last time, and Mingyu glanced at his phone, a text from Soonyoung waiting for him.

**_Soonie 🐯_ ** **_  
_ ** _ Cuddles with a movie in my room?  _ _   
_ _ And if u feel like talking maybe we can talk then? 🥺 _

**_Gyu 🐶_ **

_ I like that idea. Don’t know if I’ll be ready to talk then tho _

He set his phone down and sighed, closing his eyes as he leaned his head back. He wasn’t being fair to Soonyoung. He had to talk to the other to get his thoughts to finally calm down, besides it was better he knew anyways. If Soonyoung wanted to break up after that, then he’d be fine. Soonyoung had been his friend first. They could stay friends. He hoped, at least.

Once inside the dorms, Mingyu sent a quick text to let Soonyoung know before going to his room and grabbing clothes to change into. He went and showered, and by the time he had finished, Soonyoung was in front of him, freshly showered and in sweats and one of Mingyu’s hoodies, smiling at him.

“Hi there.” Soonyoung smiled.

“Hi.” Mingyu smiled, “so movie?”

“Mmhmm,” Soonyoung smiled, “come on.”

Mingyu smiled and tossed his dirty clothes into a hamper as they passed it before following Soonyoung to the older’s room. In his mind, he contemplated how he could talk to the older. 

Soonyoung started setting up the movie, but Mingyu saw on the older’s bed he had made a nest of his blankets, gotten their favorite snacks and drinks, and had made sure it was perfect for the both of them to cuddle. 

Mingyu frowned a little and went over, sitting on the edge of the bed, watching Soonyoung. He felt like he didn’t deserve Soonyoung, and he wondered why the older loved him so much. He was so lost in thought that he didn’t realize Soonyoung had said his name a few times and was now standing in front of him, a frown on his face. “Oh. Sorry.”

“No, don’t be. Something is very obviously on your mind. Can I know what it is yet?” Soonyoung asked, “it’s important if you keep thinking about it.”

Mingyu nodded and took a deep breath. Now was as good of a time as any. “Why?”

“You’re going to have to explain a bit, Gyu. That’s a question that can mean a whole lot of things.” Soonyoung just smiled gently, a still concerned look in his eyes.

Mingyu sighed, “why me? Why do you love me? There’s a chance we’ll never be able to come out because of our jobs and where we live. Why be with me?”

Soonyoung made a quiet noise and before Mingyu could feel worse, he quickly slid in between the younger’s knees and pulled him into a hug, his head resting on his chest. “Oh Gyu. Is this what’s been bothering you all day?”

Mingyu nodded, not speaking and Soonyoung knew he was on the verge of tears.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Soonyoung ran a hand over the back of Mingyu’s head gently and leaned closer to kiss his head, even though it was an awkward position. “I love you because you're you. Because the hugs you give me are always so warm and make me feel so safe, like nothing could ever happen to me. You're so kind to everyone, whether you know them or not. Honestly, that’s something I could write a novel about, how kind you are.”

Mingyu whined softly, the sound muffled by Soonyoung’s chest and Soonyoung was sure the younger was starting to blush.

He smiled softly and kept going, “you love our team so much and you work so hard for everyone. You're always looking out for us too, making sure we rest and take care of ourselves. You make  _ me  _ stop when I’m too stubborn and keep going. Your smile is the sweetest smile ever, and I feel like I’m the only person in the world when you smile at me. You're incredibly talented. Like stupidly talented and I’m jealous but also in awe of how well you do everything. There’s never a moment where I don’t think you're not trying your hardest, cause you always put your entire effort into it. The way you can always put a positive spin on things, helping me realize that not all bad days are going to keep going.”

Mingyu was quiet, but Soonyoung knew he was listening by how he kept gently squeezing Soonyoung’s waist.

“You’re such a sweetheart Mingyu, honestly that’s such a huge reason. You make everyone feel special when you meet them and help them feel at ease. Your laugh is so precious and I’d love to hear it all day if I could. Maybe we can ask Jihoon to record you laughing for me?”

“Hyung.” A quiet mumble that had a small whine in it and Soonyoung’s heart melted.

“I love you for so many reasons Gyu. But I think the most important one is because you’re you. I know I said that, but honestly, Mingyu you are my absolute favorite human. I’m so thankful that I get to wake up and spend my day with you. I love that you're my best friend, that you know me so well. I’m in love with everything about you, even the things you don’t love about yourself. You’re the human I want to wake up by every day Gyu, and I know that with our jobs and here it’ll be hard to ever be able to share how much I love you with the world, but as long as I can share it with you and our friends, that’s all that matters.”

Mingyu pulled away to look up at Soonyoung, “really?”

“Mmhmm. You're all that matters to me. Someday we’ll probably be able to, but for now, I don’t care. I love you and I want to be with you.” Soonyoung hummed softly. He ran a finger over Mingyu’s cheek, brushing away a stray tear. “Please talk to me about this though. I promise we’ll talk about it together. Whatever it is.”

Mingyu nodded and hugged Soonyoung again, his head buried in the older’s chest. “I love you too hyung. So much more than I could ever love anyone and I won’t lie it kind of scares me.”

Soonyoung hugged Mingyu close and nodded, “I feel that way a lot about you too. I don’t want to ever lose you in my life Gyu.”

“I won’t go anywhere.” Mingyu promised.

“Good.” Soonyoung hummed. “Now, cuddle with our movie?”

Mingyu nodded, “please.”

“Good. Now get up on the bed and scoot over.” Soonyoung nudged his knee gently with his own and smiled. When Mingyu got on the bed and was comfortable, he crawled up, cuddling into Mingyu’s side. He reached around the younger and grabbed the remote and hit play, their movie starting. It was just one of the Transformers movies, but usually they didn’t really care which movie was playing and just talked anyway.

“Soon?” Mingyu spoke up softly after a little bit.

“Hmm?” Soonyoung whispered.

“I really love you. Thank you.” Mingyu said, kissing Soonyoung’s head.

“I love you too Gyu. Forever.” Soonyoung smiled.

\--------

At the year end award shows, they all walked in as a group, smiling at everyone watching, and making hearts to them. Mingyu walked a little behind Soonyoung towards the back of the group, but his eyes kept travelling to him. Since they had talked, a lot had happened. They had argued a few times, but each time, they ended up apologizing to each other and making their relationship better. They had watched Jeonghan, Seungcheol, and Joshua’s relationship become one that they were sure they’d end up finding a way to get married somehow, had almost managed to get caught a few times by their managers or even their members in very compromising situations, and especially in Mingyu’s case, fallen even more in love with each other.

Through the night, they found different ways to be together, switching seats with the other members, walking a little slower or faster, sneaking off into unused rooms, and sometimes just smiling at each other. 

As the group got called to the stage for an award, they all gathered together to hug each other first, smiles on everyone’s faces, Mingyu squeezed Soonyoung’s shoulder gently, grinning at the dancer who smiled back. 

Seungcheol made a speech before passing the mic to Hansol who made a speech in English, then to Minghao who said something in Chinese before it was passed to him for a quick final speech. Mingyu stood a little surprised with it, even more so that they had time for four members to speak when sometimes they rarely got through two. With a small gesture to go ahead from the others, Mingyu looked at the audience and glanced into the camera.

“Ah, this is an honor, really. I know that my members are just as grateful as I feel too, so I’ll try to say this as best as possible. Thank you to all our carats who made this a reality for us. We love you and we hope everything we create for you is something you love. Thank you to uh, ah our management and our team who helped us make this possible. Um,” Mingyu glanced back behind him and met eyes with Soonyoung who just smiled encouragingly at him, careful to make sure the gesture was seen as just two members encouraging each other more than anything else. “And to my members. Thank you. I love you so much and I’m glad I get to do this with you guys. I love you. Um, thank you again for this award!” 

After he finished, they pulled him into a group hug again, the thirteen of them jumping around a little in celebration before they were ushered off stage, towards backstage where they’d be able to celebrate more. They followed staff who led them to their staging room, all of them talking between each other excitedly and smiles never leaving their faces. Soonyoung walked so he could end up by Mingyu and as he did, the younger put an arm around his shoulder smiling.

“We did it.” Soonyoung smiled at him.

“That we did.” Mingyu hummed happily. If it hadn’t been for the fact there were too many eyes watching them he would’ve leaned down and kissed Soonyoung there. Instead he opted for another gentle squeeze around the shoulders.

\--------

At the dorms, they all celebrated more, deciding not to go to any after party, and wanting to just be together. The oldest three ordered food while the others all got music playing. Soonyoung dragged Mingyu away from the group and smiled at the taller boy. 

“Hi,” Mingyu smiled once they were away from everyone in his room.

“Hi there.” Soonyoung smiled at him. “I love you, so much.”

“I know.” Mingyu smiled, “I love you just as much.”

“I know.” Soonyoung smiled back.

Mingyu felt like he could melt, and leaned down to kiss Soonyoung. No matter what, they had each other. He loved Soonyoung, and the older one knew and loved him. He’d be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> I struggled with this. Not gonna lie. I didn't know how to write this and in the end I went with a secret relationship and struggling with knowing how someone could be okay with that. So here you go. I hope y'all like it. Please be kind, but also please tell me what you think. Did y'all like it? 
> 
> Also yes, I shamelessly plugged Jihancheol because they're the best and deserve all the love.


End file.
